A list of (not very serious) quotes I’ve come across over the years. I’ve tried to link the original source for each. Otherwise I will just link the place or person where I first heard it. The list is ordered from most recently found quotes to least recently. Format is quote followed by author below.
Last updated: 2023-2-10
I think Coolsville sucks!
Left to their own devices, traffic engineers will always build New Jersey.
– Justin Roczniak
Engineering is the art of modelling materials we do not wholly understand, into shapes we cannot precisely analyse, so as to withstand forces we cannot properly assess, in such a way that the public has no reason to suspect the extent of our ignorance.
– Dr. A. R. Dykes
Looking good is more important than looking where you’re going.
Heard a lawyer say they always put in one crappy clause in a contract so that the lawyers on the other side can find something to demand to have removed.
As the classic joke goes:
“What’s the difference between a 500hp Supra and a 900hp Supra?”
“Absolutely nothing at the strip”
– Some guy on Reddit on the 4th generation Toyota Supra
You beat me Horus Lupercal, you really are the Warhammer 40,000!
Doesn’t matter if you work for the best company in the world, if your boss sucks then your job sucks.
Don’t forget the human embryo caviar popping between your teeth like Denethor eating a ‘mater
You can kill yourself to meet a stupid deadline and still no one (including the client that paid for it) gives a fuck about the product
Rage makes you stupid. Play D&D, it’s right there in the rules.
This reminds me about Warren Buffet’s bit about bankers and mergers and splits. I’ll paraphrase very heavily:
One day the bankers come to you and say, you know, you have this great company, there’s another good company over there that has some overlap. You buy them, cut out the redundancies, especially the cost centers you both share that don’t produce but you gotta have them, and now you have combined market share but less than combined costs. Fool-proof profit even if not for the great synergies!
Seven years later they come to you and say, you know, you have this great company, and this business unit is kind of its own business. There’s a lot of overhead in big companies, you know, compliance, legacy stuff, it’s dragging both of you down. You know, if you spun them out, we could get a new IPO pop a bit, you both shed your dead weight, don’t lose any business but reduce costs. Fool-proof profit even if not for the opportunity for financial wizardry!
And at the end of it all, the only one who really made money was the bankers.
– Some guy on Reddit and Warren Buffet, apparently
That’s the Detroit motto: If there ain’t oil under it, there ain’t oil in it!
– Some guy on Reddit on Detroit Diesel engines
I’m floored that any engineer saw a pcb and thought “structural”
It’s far more common to be frustrated by technical people that are insistent upon something that is obviously outside their expertise, and very much within mine.
Funky Mode is worth $60 tbh. I’ll pay $60 for any game that has a Funky Mode.
It’s a nearly indestructible motor in an extremely destructible shell
– Some guy on Reddit on the 5.9L Cummins diesel engine
Reality has a well-known liberal bias.
– Stephen Colbert
what if they came out with a car with a “separated 10” engine where it’s actually 10 0.3L single pot engines hidden throughout the engine bay and undercarriage like easter eggs
Reality is false and needs to be fixed by DB constraints.
The best definition I have heard of modern warfare is, “Months of boredom punctuated by moments of extreme terror.”
– Guy’s Hospital Gazette (1914)
Fact: Mike exudes big flask energy
– Some guy on Reddit on Mike Stoklasa
The most unrealistic thing about Warhammer 40k isn’t the warp travel, nor the Space Marines, nor is it psykers. It’s the fact that the Imperium is actually fairly competent, for a galaxy spanning empire.
Any fool can build a bridge that stands, only an engineer can build a bridge that barely stands.
* !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * !!!!!!!IF YOU CHANGE TABS TO SPACES, YOU WILL BE KILLED!!!!!!! * !!!!!!!!!!!!!!DOING SO FUCKS THE BUILD PROCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
– Microsoft Windows 2000 private\windows\media\avi\verinfo.16\verinfo.h
The network, routers and switches and cables are like the road your car drives on. TCP/IP are the wheels that directly interface with the road and without which the car would not function. DNS is the map that tells you where your destination is on the road, and HTML is the font choice the mapmaker made so that your map would be easier to read.
